yes, this is a real, new, post.

"What's the occasion?", you may ask...

...well,I'm coming back home! Or near to it. That's right, we're moving back to KING COUNTY! I"m excited to even be back within the king county library system.

I'm transfering to my owners other gym in Federal Way to be the assistant director. Yay.

We found an apartment and everything, and we're moving the weekend before christmas. yaaaay.

Okay. That's all I have time to say.

-becca

here IIII AM!

I'm at work right now. I had to come in and open up the gym for a tai chi class. But the lady just left almost an hour early without saying anything, so I'm waiting a few minutes to make sure that she's not coming back...then i'm going home. If she hasn't come back, that is.

So, I've basically been working every day andddd...not really doing anything else. Which is okay for now. CUZ GUESS WHAT! It's my birthday on FRIDAY. That's right. I'm gonna be 20. woo. So you better send me flowers and chocolates and balloons and flowers and presents and take me out to a fancy restuarant and make dress up in a pretty dress which you also bought for me...and what else? I don't know. Send me a card. Make me feel loved on my first day as a 20 year old. I wonder if any of my relatives sent me a card. Probably not...since I haven't even sent some of them wedding pictures yet. Eesh. I should do that. And YOU (jeremy) should do the above mentioned things as a surprise for your wife..cough cough.

I don't know why my birthday makes having no life but work okay. I guess cause I get most of saturday off and an actualy ENTIRE day off on Sunday! That hasn't happened in over a week and a half!

That lady still hasn't come back yet.

I wonder if she drove away.

There don't seem to be many cars outside.

hmm.

Well anyway.

I started crocheting again. Jeremy wants me to crochet him a scarf. So I guess I'll do that. But I tihnk now I need to go. Because if that lady isn't coming back, then there is absolutely no reason for me to be at work.

Hey amber, if you ever read this, sorry I didn't call you back yet. I'm not ignoring you. I just...haven't called you back for some reason. Maybe I will tonight.

BYE!
becca

So, I'm still alive. My post is going to seem amazingly short compared to amber's novella though. wow.

Life is good. I'm still working at My Gym (and yes, I still like it), living in Silverdale, and pretty much loving my husband and being married. So, it's pretty good. I don't really have anything specific to say, do I? I just felt like I should really post after it being so long.

Plus I'm waiting for something to be done on the computer and there's nothing else to do at the moment.

I really have nothing I feel like writing at the moment, deep or not.

Oh well.
I"ll try some other time.

Amber and I are going camping this weekend! WOO! At Fort Stevens. Hopefully this wasn't a bad thing to do, considering that last time I went camping was with Amber at this campsite when we were like...15 or 16, and we got into some fight and deemed it the worst camping trip ever.

I'm just hoping that doesn't happen again :P

okay,I need to get going!

-becca

Okay, I've actually got something interesting to say!

My doctor wanted me to have a blood test done, and she wanted me to fast for 8 hours beforehand, so yesterday morning I skipped breakfast and went to the clinic to have my blood test done. I had my day all planned out - after visiting the clinic, I would pick up a prescription, get an EggMcMuffin at McDonald's, and go to work. After work, I would vacuum my car and wash it at work, then go home and clean.

I got to the clinic and sat on the bench outside the lab, waiting for the technician to come take my blood - I was the very first one there. After a few minutes, a little old lady sat next to me. She took out some knitting and we chatted a little bit. Then the technician came, asked who was first, and since it was me, I went and sat in the chair that looks like it could occupy a 400 pound bottom.

I wasn't really nervous - I've had blood taken before, and I thought I'd be more nervous because I hadn't eaten, but I wasn't really. I was doing fine, she put the needle in, and I felt kind of sick so I put my head back and closed my eyes. She asked me if I was okay and I said "yeah". I felt really dizzy but I knew it was almost over. She asked me a few more times if I was okay and I just kept saying "yeah".

Then I opened my eyes and there were about six people standing over me, and I was lying on the floor. Someone was saying "You're okay, Amber, you're fine, it's okay". I saw the lab tech and thought "I think that's the girl who took my blood a few days ago." I closed my eyes again because I thought I was just in a dream and I was really tired. Someone said my name and I was like "What?" and I was kind of annoyed. They were like "Have you ever had a seizure before?" I was like "what? no."

Gradually I realized what was going on. "Wait, so I'm still at the clinic?" "Okay, I passed out?" "What do you mean, I had a seizure?" I couldn't believe it was happening. They brought me some orange juice and I sipped it. After a few minutes I could half sit up if I was leaning on somebody, but I was shaking really bad. They got me into a wheelchair, and as they took me away I saw the lady I had been chatting with. Her eyes were huge as she stared at me.

I laid down on a table and everyone there was so nice, asking me if I wanted a saltine or some orange juice - I had people popping in every ten seconds to see how I was doing! The lab tech came in and she was like "oh good, your color's back." I said "Why, was I pale?" and she said "Um, your face was the color of your shirt" (I was wearing a white shirt). I called a friend from work to pick me up because I couldn't really drive.

I got back to work and used the bathroom and discovered I'd peed my pants while I was out! Haha, I don't think I've done that since I was too little to remember. I laid down at work for a few hours, then I suddenly got this massive headache. I was able to walk around, but poorly and only for a minute or two. I could only sit up for a minute or two before having to lie down. I called the clinic and they told me to go straight to the ER. I didn't want to, I cried and begged and said I wanted to wait longer but they said I had to go and get a CT scan. So my coworker drove me to the Auburn emergency center, but they were out of power so their CT wasn't working. So I went to Valley Medical Center, which is kind of a bad word around here - people always make a face when someone says "I went to Valley". It's just not a great hospital. But it was the closest thing.

My coworker dropped me off, and I checked in and they said the wait would not be long, but I was in the waiting room for at least 2 hours. I was miserable - I was thirsty, they wouldn't let me have water, and I was so hungry and I wasn't supposed to eat but I was sneaking fingerfuls of peanut butter. The only nice thing was that a friend of my mom's works there and she found me like two minutes after I got there. I was laying down on the bench because I was so dizzy and she brought me a pillow for my head.

Ooh! Dramatic moment! A black dude came in, screaming, "My fingers are cut off! They're gone! F***! F***! My fingers are gone, you understand they're GONE! Can you people help me! I have insurance! I have insurance, I'm covered, but my d*** fingers are gone, they're just gone!" He was waving his bandaged hand around in the air and getting blood everywhere. They took him back and you could hear him yelling. We in the waiting room kind of looked at each other, smiled, and resumed our normal sleeping/reading/talking. Two minutes later the guy's buddy came running in - "I've got the fingers!" Heehee. This poor traumatized little girl that was there, I felt sorry for her but at least her mommy was with her.

Finally I went back and got a bed. From here on it was pretty boring - lots of blood pressure tests, an IV, EKG, CT scan. The lady in the bed next to me, I guess she was waiting in the waiting room with me because she asked if I was the girl with the peanut butter. Her name was...um...Lydia? no... dang it. I cannot remember. Anyway, it was nice to talk to her for a bit. After a bag of IV fluids I felt so much better, and after a few hoursI was discharged and my cousin picked me up. But I hated being at that hospital. I've decided to write them a letter:

Dear Valley Medical Center Emergency Room:

Your staff is really extreme. Either they are extremely competent and nice, or they are extremely arrogant and rude. Your check-in lady was nice. She was efficient and quick. My mom's friend, who works there, was nice.

Your nurse, the blond guy with all the muscles who looks like he could break my arm off at the shoulder when he's taking blood pressure, he's arrogant. He was asking me why I'd had a seizure and I said "well they think it was because I was fasting" and he was like "well duh you should have eaten first" and I was like "well they told me to fast, dodo," and he was like "how long did you fast" and I said "just eight hours, I skipped breakfast" and he was like "well pfft, that's not fasting" and I was like "well that's what they called it so you can just take it up with them." I don't really remember how much of my part of the conversation was in my head, but he was a jerk.

Throughout the day, my blood pressure and heart rate were taken at random intervals, and the heart rate was taken with this little finger thing you put your finger in. Well, sometimes they'd forget to take the blood pressure cuff off (or so I thought) and just leave it on for forty-five minutes until they came back. So when Mr. Blond Surfer Nurse came in and put the finger thing on and left, I figured he'd forgotten to take it off, so I did. My monitor started beeping and he came in and was like "What's up?"

I said, "Nothing,"

"Why did you take your monitor off?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize I was supposed to leave it on."

"Well, if you don't want to wear it that's fine, we just want to monitor you so we can tell if you are dying or something."

"Um, I don't mind wearing it, I just thought you had forgotten to take it off."

"Ha! I never forget anything" and he stalked off.

Your patient advocate, whose name (I think) is Ray, was really nice. He came with a smile and asked if he could get me a pillow, and I said yes, and he asked if I'd like the light off and I said yes because I was laying on my back staring up into the light. He gave me a card to fill out and he thanked me for my smile.

Your doctor was nice. His name started with an R. He told me the same thing had happened to his dad, fainting and then having a seizure. He said it might not have been a true seizure, just a reaction after fainting that some people have. Then he asked if I'd peed my pants and I said yes and he said "Oh, well that's more like a seizure". He ended up giving me a referral for a neurologist, which I didn't want, but I asked if I really had to go and he basically said yes, and I couldn't drive till I see the neurologist.

The lady who came in just before I was discharged, what the heck was up with her? She acted like it was her job to convince me, the hypochondriac, that I was fine. "Yeah, you passed out, but that's a normal body reaction and a lot of people do that when they get blood drawn, so you're fine." I got that reaction from so many medical professionals yesterday who asked me what had happened and when I told them they tried to tell me why I was overreacting. So here's what I want to tell them.

1. I don't know what happened. I was passed out, remember? For all you medical professionals who asked me what I did during the seizure and how long it was, how the heck would I know? Idiots. I felt like I was in the ER for nothing. It's not like I had a litte pain so I went straight to the hospital. I don't even remember what happened. So don't try telling me that I'm overreacting to something I don't even remember.

2. I didn't want to come in to the ER, but my doctor said I had to. When the first hospital I went to couldn't to the CT scan, I called her again to see if I could just wait till they got their machine up and she said I had to come to Valley. I didn't even want to come in! You think I like sitting in the waiting room with groaning, sleeping people, having water withheld from me, donning an ugly gown that would fit someone 200 pounds heavier than me, having needles stuck in me and handsomely arrogant surfer nurses being dumb at me? Well, I didn't! I was so bored and I was dizzy and in pain. So don't try and tell me I came in for nothing and it's my own fault.

Sincerely,

Amber.

Grr.

Anyway, today I still felt pretty sick until about noon, then something clicked and I was way better. Like, I couldn't really walk straight before and I was so dizzy and tired. And this morning it was pretty warm but I kept getting chills. I'd be like "Agh! It's FREEZING in here! Can we PLEASE turn off the fan!" and my coworkers were like "Um, no. It's hot and we're sweating." But I feel soo much better now! Wow! I have to see my regular doctor tomorrow - I thought I'd get out of it by seeing the neurologist, but they called me this morning at 8 and they were like "Don't think that just because you went to the ER you don't have to keep your 9:00 appointment tomorrow!" No, they didn't say it like that, but that was the basic message.

I drove today even thought I am not supposed to, but I just got my car from the clinic and moved it to work so it won't get towed. It was only like five minutes away.

So that was my day yesterday and my day today. Sorry everything is so detailed - I like to put in as many details as I can because whenever I read back on old blogs I like all the details and remembering.

Heehee. Random, huh?

so....hi.

I haven't posted anything on here since way long ago before I was married (wow, threeeee months!)

But, seeing as I was talking to amber on the phone while she was at Debbi's house, and I spoke with Debbi the weekend after that, I thought I should get around to posting...finally.

umm, life is good. I just exchanged my defective dashboard confessional CD for a new one. Hopefully this one is not a defect too.

I had the stomach flu or something for 24 hours on tuesday night. I thought it was food poisoning when I threw up at 1:30am, after eating out with Jeremy. However, after I went to bed, I threw up 10 more times between then and 10:15AM. I was not pleased. And I did not feel good. And I did not go into work. And I am very tired of getting sick every week. And! I still haven't eaten very much solid food since then. I'm better though, yay!

So what else can I say. I'm working at My-Gym still, and I still enjoy it thoroughly. Um. Um. Um. I'm kind of bored in silverdale sometimes though, because we don't have many friends out here yet. Uuuuum.

I love being married :D

If you haven't seen my wedding pictures yet you should go look at my myspace space: www.myspace.com/aestheticvestige

There are quite a few up there, though no where near the 500 that I have.

I guess I don't have that much more interesting anything to say.

Happy Fourth of July!!!!

BYE!
becca

Since Debbi was the last one to complain that this blog hasn't been updating it, I'm updating it AT HER HOUSE! Technically, while babysitting her kids, except they're in bed. Her "h" key tends to get stuck (I'm on your laptop, Debbi) and I should have switched computers but I'm just lazy like that.

Too many people have been asking me how I'm doing. If I'm doing well, it doesn't matter how many people ask me, because my answer is always the same and doesn't require explanation. Plus, if I'm doing well, I have enough energy to be convincing.

Here's why I don't like not being well:

For every person that asks me how I am doing, I have to evaluate how much information to give them. Will I ever see this person again? How much do they care about me? Will they share information? Will they ask helpful questions? Will they probe for gossip?

For every person that asks me how I am doing, I have to evaluate my own mood and how much information I am willing to share at the moment: Have I just finished a three-hour conversation of my life with another person? Am I cranky? Am I about to burst into tears? Am I bitter? Am I desperate to talk?

It takes a lot more energy to tell someone that you are not doing well than to tell them you are doing well. Very rarely will I indicate I am doing well when I am not. So if I'm not in the mood, or if it doesn't feel like a "good" person to tell, I find it awkward and stressful to defer the question and change the subject quickly.

Okay, here's the deal: At this moment, I am fair. I'm not about to burst into tears. My body is a little tired and has been for the last two weeks, and I've been craving sugar constantly, which is weird. I am also thirsty all the time. All day I think about sugar and water and sleeping. Emotionally, I should be at a high point this week and I'm just not.

On the bright side, there is something freeing about realizing that something is wrong. I didn't acknowledge that I was not "great" until today, and now I can honestly say, "No, I am not great, but I am okay at the moment." Honesty is so freeing.

Sorry this wasn't funny or anything!